Life After The Miraculous

He's 6 months now.

And I am just beginning to get a grip.

For the last several months, I have struggled drastically with the mental affects of my 10-week bed rest!

I spent so much time alone with God in that room that I forgot how to be a participant in the lives of my family. 

We have 5 children, the oldest of whom is 5 and started his homeschooling Kinder year in September.

To say that we are a busy household is somewhat of an understatement. We have what I have dubbed as Crazy Chicken Syndrome. 

I'll translate. 

We have these twinkies running around potty-training and mess-making, learning how to obey the first time, and coming into personality growth with their individual explosions of estrogen.

They keep me on my feet. 

Literally.

Then we have this one:

Yes, you get it. This face explains it all. 

Spitfire...

She is!

She is my relationship girl, always talking a billion words per second, and faithfully pushing the chair into the kitchen to help cook when my brain is still waking in the morning.

And then, these 2:

These are my easies.

Malachi needs milk and snuggles... Simple and doable!

The big boy is my logical learner who is super responsible and constantly asking to work ahead in school.

You see, this home of ours, this place we do life daily, it has been trumping me for the past 6 months. 

I went through, and still battle, selfish habits that I developed from having no one to serve in the hospital. 

I am finally getting on top of that one.

I am finally balancing the everyday tasks with loving my family well.

I am just beginning to reacquaint myself with the noise level in our home without having to holler at the kids to quiet down because "mommy's brain is on overload from all the noises."

I am getting used to talking a mile a minute, 4 sentences at a time to 5 different directions.

Above all, I am reminding myself daily of how much I need God; how desperately hungry my mommy soul is for Him to speak words to my heart in a quiet place while the children ALL nap.

It has only taken 6 months.

Only.

:)

My encouragement to you, my dear friend, keep pushing, keep seeking, keep pressing in to Him. Seek to serve those around you and find a moment in a quiet place to ask Him to speak healing to your heart. 

He is faithful!

When Bed Rest Finds Me Reading

After a few adolescent years of poor choices, I was covered in the Blood of The Lamb and began a journey through transformation.

Transformation into a being that lives by the guidance of the Spirit, listens for the voice of God, and allows Him to open eyes and doors on His timing.

I sit here, 3 months away from my 6-year rebirth anniversary, and find NEW scales being peeled from my eyes.

We've been in our new town since September and were still searching for a new church to call home. Having been "unchurched" growing up, our last church was our first and only true experience in an environment of Christ followers. We were very Spirit-led and the church, meaning the people within the central infrastructure, are AMAZING people, leading lives by example.

We had it good. Real good.

Fast forward to now.

We know we were trained up and called out of our comfy friendship circle for HIS purpose and timing.

We just have been unsure of the details to this point. He opened every door for us to move here, and has paved way for new friendships to form. He has moved many teenage fellers into my husband's hemisphere of supernatural influence and I am beginning to thrive in my many hats. (Ironic that I type this from my couch on bedrest at 24 weeks pregnant because of some pregnancy glitches that He is supernaturally mending.)

And that is not boastful. I fail several times a day, but He loves me through it and reminds me that I put my hands to my work for His glory. That failure means I get to experience grace that saves, and start all over.

However, I tell you, all 5 of you who are interested, I am getting new eyes again. My physical vision still has issues, but my Spiritual eyes...

Scales are coming off, y'all.

I'm reading a book. Not a "3 Simple Steps to A Better Christianity," book. It's more of a, "Dearest Daughter, I have been telling you ALL of this, but I needed this woman to write down ALL of your thoughts on the subject so you would connect it from head to heart" sort of book.

It's called, "7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess," by Jen Hatmaker. No, of course I'm not being reimbursed for my praise of her title.

From this, I am seeing His church; what I want my family to be doing for His people that aren't already saved and aren't already blessed.

And I'm referring to the people in my backyard, the homeless, the women fleeing from abuse, the children ravaged by pain from life, and oh so many more.

I want to go to them and whisper, "I now see you. I'm so very very sorry I didn't see you before. Please forgive me for thinking that the $5 you received from us each month meant you knew how deeply God loves you. Here are my clothes that never get worn, here is a meal without any strings, here is a hug full of love and free of condemnation. Here is my Jesus, the One who can be counted upon to deliver you from all of this. Please don't forsake Him because I was blind to how much you needed me to come to you."

A quote from Jen's book,

"John the Baptist says if we have two coats, one belongs to the poor. The early church sold their possessions and lived communally, caring for one another and the broken people in their cities."

I see now.

They dont need my tithe without my face. They need my face and then...only then do they see my tithe. Giving attached to sacrifice of time and love and compassion.

Everything Jesus stood for.

That's Not a Diaper, It's Toilet Paper

As for the title of this post, please be patient, it'll all be clear soon enough.

Many days, I feel rushed. I feel like so many things are happening in our home that my brain just needs a time out. I'm frequently standing, rarely sitting(reserved for nap time when all 4 littles rest together).

Typically, I am doing 2 things at any moment, and have to always be prepared to switch to 2 ENTIRELY different tasks in the blink of a tiny eyelash.

I'm sure no one else on the planet feels the same way. :.)

Right?

Honestly, we moms have one word that we typically use to sum up the strand of days that can seem to flow together.

Busy.

In one way, or another, we are all busy.

Our days become filled, things(or children) come up missing, we do the best we can, and assume that busy is just that daunting way of life that God has for us right now.

Although I rarely leave home, because I have become a PROUD homebody, I can frequently be caught thinking, Ay Carumba Batman, this is insane! Honestly, I am SO entirely occupied during my days that I find myself doing totally random things that make ZERO sense.

Here's your list of examples:

-Backing into my hubby's PARKED car as I removed our van from the garage.
-Leaving our van door wide open at the park or in the garage after unloading the one child I was responsible for.
-Leaving the bathroom with a roll of toilet paper only to find myself thinking, That is not a diaper, it's a roll of toilet paper. Not as effective at holding in baby waste.
-Finding the piece of bread I was eating for breakfast that I sat down on my way to change the laundry a good 20 minutes before.
-Spotting the dryer door, wide open, reminding me that I had neglected the load in the washer that I was supposed to switch over, but got distracted from.

You see, we ALL get soo busy in our "dailies" that sometimes, it just feels chaotic.

I once posted on my Facebook that my days are not defined by the absence of chaos, but they are defined by the power of His presence.

Chaos, in my home, is inevitable. Four children under 5 with a pregnant mama, we ride the Crazay Trainnn, every 10 minutes.

It makes life interesting, BUT I recently had one of those, "Jesus, if you know and have experienced everything we ever will encounter, why do I feel like you could NEVER comprehend the busy-ness of my days?" moments.

Ever been there?

What He reminded me of in His Love Letter to us is Jesus' story if ministry. You can find it in all 4 Gospels. You often find Jesus busy. He's ALWAYS surrounded by people who need something from Him, they all require His attention, and He rarely finds a recluse. Sure, He gets away briefly to nap or whisper a few words to the One who sent Him, but often, we read of Him giving of Himself.

Jesus was busy. I bet His flesh grew tired. I bet He felt ALWAYS NEEDED by those seeking healing, a word of encouragement, a dinner at the tax collector's place, a prostitute desperately desiring to be cleansed, and the list goes on and on.

So, Jesus does know. Not only does He see our battle with busy, He has felt it. He later died to free us from the burden of feeling too busy to function. He died so that, in the busy days, we can still live abundantly.

Since that reminder, I have aimed to remember that He understands my busy, always moving from one thing to the next, state of life because that is how He lived His. He was, and still is, always needed.

So am I. And now, I'm elated by that.

How about you?

Busy?
Pulled in a million directions?
Frazzled because all the activity?

Remember Him. He lived it too.

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

I was crafting, intently crafting, when our 4-year-old woke up from nap. Of course, he was hungry. Usually, this means that mommy drops everything and quickly crafts a three-course mea... I mean, a simple as can be, hurry up and eat it, sammie.

That day, I decided I would put his culinary skills to the test.

"Make your pb & j," I told him, fingers still hooked to my glue gun and beautiful ornament masterpiece-in-progress.

He was floored. Mind you, with very little instruction, both he and our 3-year-old daughter can effectively do a good number of household chores.

However... Spreading gooey substances was not a task I had chosen to instill in them...

Until that day.

He asked what he was supposed to do and I coached him from the chair, focusing mainly on my glue gun. I knew he was capable.

After about 5 minutes of listening to his squealing delight, I checked his progress and was amazed to see half a jar of peanut butter on one slice.

"Momma, can you open this," he asked, handing me the jelly jar.

I just HAD to giggle. Really, son...there's not a drop of jelly on that sandwhich yet? I suppose I had thought he had placed teensy amounts of jelly under his layer of peanut butter grout.

Nope.

I watched him spread jelly and squeal some more as he learned a bit more independence.

It was a beautiful moment to observe.

He can make a "peanut buttah jelly time..."

As a mom of 4 under 5, with baby #5 growing in my womb, THIS IS HUGE!!! GIGANTIC, really.

Dare I say, E.P.I.C.

So, my encouragement to all mom's of littles who feel like you are ALWAYS doing it all... Teach them something new today. Expect them to grasp the concept of the task. Keep those precious babes near you all day and talk them through each thing you do! If she's a 1 year-old who can walk, chances are, she'll be carrying laundry with you in 3 short months. At 2, she'll be sorting the laundry. At 3, she'll be throwing it in the machine, taking it out of the dryer, AND folding towels.

And you've read what happens at 4! Be excited, mommas, be excited.

Need resources or further encouragement on training those littles... Or bigs, even ... To be diligent helpers, let me know. I'll e-mail you my faves!