A Perspective on Bed Rest

Bed rest: Day 15

Blugh.

Just reading that and realizing that I've been down for that long is eye-opening. I almost can't believe it.

Almost; my body feels as though it's been MUCH longer.

I used to stand on the outside of the fish tank named "Strict Bed Rest," and peer in on what I thought might be a relief for a busy momma.

Honestly, the medical situation that placed me here has caused me fear, worry, or sadness for approximately a total of 6 hours because, and I'm about to sound super "crazy Christian" here, God's peace and comfort on delivering us from this whispered long and hard to smack those flesh reactions into their place.

My most difficult aspect of bed rest, you ask, considering that I now sound like a weirdo...

Idleness, which is the opposite of being diligent, which my wonderful Father was really teaching me before I was permanently positioned on my couch.

Dare I say this...

I miss ... cleaning and cooking!

Oh, dear. I can't believe it, ladies, but yes, I sincerely can not wait to get up, hug my family while standing upright, and clean up after them then cook these treasures din din with my 2 hands while singing and dancing loudly.

Then, I'll bake some cookies.

Next, you'll find me sewing. I may just be sewing straight lines on scrap fabric, but...

I will be sewing!

And praising our Almighty Healer for immaculate deliverence, connecting my creator heart with His Creator heart.

When Mommy is Down

I was back on top of the daily.

I had crawled through 11 weeks of morning, or in my case, random, sickness and couch potato fatigue. I had made it to 13 weeks pregnant, added a B-Complex vitamin, and was finally feeling well enough to conquer the "all our walls have fallen in and a tornado dropped everyone elses laundry, dishes, toys, and soap scum into our heap" syndrome.

Laundry was caught up(AND put away, a miracle), dishes were fresh, and the kitchen sparkled.

It begged for baking. (It's a wise kitchen...)

Then, a different kind of daily happened.

A full week ago, I woke up, moved my arms, and felt a tinge of pain in my upper back. Like a trooper mom, I thought, no biggie, it'll be good in a few hours.

I continued the daily, all along feeling immense pain and neck stiffness increasing.

Diapers. Dishes(2 loads a day). Laundry(x3-4 a day). Toilets. Loving. Reading. Holding. Tripping over toys. Snacks. Meals. Garbage.

You get it.

And somewhere in the midst, I stopped. I sat for the first time that day. My back screamed it's pain and I realized,

She's down. Again.

I prayed.

Still in pain, because God works in MANY ways.

You see, I wanted the pain gone, my back fixed, so I could continue the housework. Get it tidy again.

I visited a tremendous friend and Chiro who gave me some wonderful relief and scheduled me another visit, because misaligned spines and weird out-of-place ribs dont usually stay put after one good adjustment.

Now, after E.I.G.H.T. days of being half the keeper that I am called to be, the house is scattered, the "crashing walls tornado" syndrome has returned, a handful of Christmas gifts plead to be crafted, and I'm telling it all to shut it. In the nicest way possible.

I want my pain to leave now so I can hug my husband without reminding him to be careful. So I can easily pick up my babies. So I can help them read a book with the animated voices and movements that they're used to. So that love of my life can spin me and dip me again. So my children dont have to hear me repeatedly say, "No baby, mommy can't right now because I'm hurting."

Honestly, when your back is out and it puts tension on your entire upper half, you really understand just how much you need it to love well.

I want to move again without pain so I can love them all well... at 100%, without the Momzilla that rears her ugly head when the pain taunts.

They deserve it.